High school was quite an interesting adventure for me. In all honestly, it seemed like the absolute longest part of my life. Probably because the earlier school years were spent growing in our own little worlds without much care in the world. But stepping into high school quickly took me out of that little world.

I had somehow gained a respect with the students who had forever before hated me. Those who still didn't care much for me simply ignored me and went on with their lives. That was perfectly fine to me. But those who didn't do that began giving me respect, and they started treating me like a human.

At the same time, the niches that everyone would soon fit into began to form. Students fell into groups like popular, geek, goth, etc. Somehow, I didn't fit into any one group. I never wanted to be popular, and I never liked most of the people who were popular. Why? I can't stand superficial groups, and I hate friendships that are based on the popularity of one another. I never fit into the geeks because I never liked showing off how smart I am. I ended up staying with a group of friends that I had known for years. Vicky Emmens, Ashley Byrd, and others who were mostly new to the group. Throughout high school, we would stick together.

My first year in high school was a hard time for me. I still was struggling to control my ADHD and OCD, and this left an obvious impact on my grades and GPA. I took very few classes that I actually enjoyed. Orchestra was the first class I'd have every day, and I did like that. I managed to fail health class because of how boring it was. Two other classes that I would follow me throughout high school one way or the other were Spanish and Introduction to Communication (information science).

Orchestra became a very important part of my life about mid-way through high school. Partly fueled by my arrogance, I began pushing forward in my studies to try and reach the top of the food chain. This push forward placed me into competition with the first chair violist, Beth, and made me a friend too, Shannon. Beth was a hot-headed and determined girl who was a very good player, and I wanted to overtake her. Shannon, however, was an excellent player and could have easily been better than Beth had she only had the motivation to do so. Shannon befriended me because of my strive to be better than Beth, I believe in part at least. What was interesting to me was that Shannon was a very popular student, and for some reason had taken a liking to me. Though that would never extend past the orchestra room and passing in the hallway, it would still assist me in the future.

Spanish was just like every other class and had nothing special in it. What made it so important to me was the teacher that was in the class, Kevin Knoll. Over the next four years, I would find a very strong supporting pillar throughout high school and a good friend too.

I ended my freshman year with a GPA of 2.33, and not much going for me as I came into my sophomore year.

Orchestra in the 10th grade gave me the chance to perform as the best due to the class being split into Fresh/Soph and Junior/Senior. There were only three violists in the class: Andrea, Michelle, and myself. And all three of us were VERY good violists. We would soon form the motto, "We are perfect." Usually, we were. We were always the strongest section out of the whole orchestra.

Andrea and Michelle didn't really like me. Andrea had gone to Rosevelt with me while Michelle had gone to middle school with Andrea and I. Andrea never liked to believe that I was a better violist than her. To her, sitting ahead of me throughout middle school made her believe she was better when infact she wasn't. We ended up feuding until mid-way through our senior year when the director set it straight.

One woman who would direct the orchestra for only a few months was named Thelma Wilcox. Tj, as we would call her, was an old lady with perfect musical pitch and an absolutely stunning ability to play any instrument you could give her. She always memorized the scores of music she was conducting and could play each sections part from memory on-the-spot. She realized my abilities and placed me as the first-chair violist for the whole year. She even instructed her replacement to keep me there. The day she left as our teacher, she and I were the only people in the orchestra room when she told me, "Graham, are you always like this?" She was referring to my always happy but controlled attitude. I replied, "Heh, yeah." She smiled and said to me, "Good. Never stop doing that. It will serve you good until the day you die." True words of wisdom.

At the start of the second semester of my sophomore year, I met a guy named Joey Morris. He was a short hispanic guy who I had a chat with during lunch one day. He was into skateboarding, punk music, and everything not tech-related, yet when we started speaking about computers and PHP he became very interested in it. We ended up becoming best friends and were almost never found apart until he graduated. In April of my Junior year, he had a falling out with his father. His father is a controlling man, and he didn't like that Joey was venturing out on his own. After it became serious enough, Joey moved in with me for two months until his father threatened him, causing Joey to move back in with his father. After that day, Joey and I drifted apart. My mother and I believe that this was to protect us from his father. I never did get an answer, and I haven't seen Joey in a year and a half. Not a word.

My senior year is probably the most mentionable year for this. Orchestra came through as my shining moment throughout that year. Our director, Mr. Jenkin, had stayed for his second year and announced his plans to stay until retirement (thank god). Auditions for seating yanked me a perfect score, 3 points above Andrea and 2 above Michelle. So there I sat, first chair of the senior orchestra, and soon to be first-chair of city-wide performance in December.

December 12, 2004, was an awesome day for me. The Janesville Walk-in Messiah was performed at 6PM, and I was sitting first-chair for the entire school district. The front quartet consisted of eight people: four teachers, one on each instrument, and four students, one on each instrument. Mr. Jenkin just happened to major in the Viola, so he and I performed together. The Walk-in Messiah is a performance of Handel's Messiah in its entirety. We perform at a local church with city professional musicians playing the brass, woodwinds, etc, and citizens singing in their respective sections with us. There are roughly 200 musicians performing from both high schools along with four professional singing professionals. At the end of the concert, one of those professionals found me and pulled me aside. She told me, "It was truly an honor to have performed with you this evening. You are an incredible musician." That floored me. The next day was my private lesson with Mr. Jenkin, and he said to me, "I can no longer teach you how to perform, all I can do is guide you the rest of the way. Last night, you reached your element." Equally floored.

I would finish out the final concert of the school year by receiving the orchestra's top award: best musician. [Just as a note: Of the three awards giving out, the viola section won two. Andrea won the orchestra scholarship as she is becoming a music teacher. Hehe, we're perfect =D] By the end of the year, Andrea, Michelle, and I all had a great respect for each others talents and worked together quite well. I miss the orchestra.

High school wasn't only good for me. It had its really bad side too. Thoughout middle school, I began tugging at my shirt and pants and formed a habit out of it. High school made that so much worse. I went from doing that to actually being afraid of the hallways. I couldn't stand how close we all were to one another. There was zero space for your personal bubble. It simply disappeared. By my senior year, I was extremely freaked out by this and began finding ways to avoid the traffic by leaving immediately at the bell from the class (not getting up at the bell, but actually out the door) or I would wait until the hallways cleared a bit. I once described it to a friend of mine as being afraid to be touched; just wanting to be invisible to the world. This manifested itself at home as well. My mother is a very touchy and feely person. Hugs, pats, rubbing backs, etc. She doesn't do it to me anymore because whenever she used to, I would move away and say to her in a very angry tone, "Do not touch me."

One person did try and break that barrier, and she ended up being the only person I would ever allow to touch me. But that's for another part in this blog.

My troubles throughout high school always found their way to escape: Kevin Knoll. He gained a huge respect for me my sophomore year when I turned my act around and started getting better grades, and because of my respect that he got from not many students. Throughout my senior year, I was his teacher's assistant (TA) during third hour. Many hours we spent talking in the office section of the classroom while students did their work. He was a troubled man because of personal health issues and his father, who was dying the entire senior year. He went up to bat for me many times and saved me from many problems and conflicts. Whenever it came up in the administration that I was a "bad student" he would step forward and shoot it down. The school district never knew what to think of me. So they labeled me as an "unknown" or a person who they can't figure out. Kevin defended me from that.

When I was a freshman, I hacked the school districts main server with the permission of a teacher (who watched me do it) and was caught doing so. This teacher was then confronted with what had happened, and he denied ever giving me permission. The school district moved forward to punish me with an expulsion based on the teacher's lie, and Kevin stepped forward to defend me. I managed to get out of there with an out-of-school suspension for a single day. Whew.

After that incident, the school district administration started to tell teachers that I was not to be trusted. But I wouldn't know about this until Lora Cowell, librarian and web development advisor, told me a year later. She told me, "They told me time and time again not to trust you, and I told them that I would make that decision on my own. You aren't like they tried saying you are." So she too began to defend me and help change my image with the school district.

One final person came forward to prove to be enough to change the school district's opinion on me. Her name is Jane Thompson, and she was the teacher at the Janesville Academy for International Studies (JAIS). I joined JAIS after a teacher had recommended me to be part of the pilot school (which was ironic because he and I always got into arguments during class. The class was "Leadership in the Workplace," and he says that my arguments trying to get him to change class policy proved that I was a great leader). Jane asked me one day, "Okay, explain this to me. Why does your name scare the school district administration?" I started to laugh. Apparently I scare them! Good o_O; The JAIS program is the first of its kind in the United States. It is a school focused on international studies based on independant, self-guided learning. The graduation requirement was a 20-page minimum research paper in APA format presented to a jury of your peers and community leaders and had to last at least 40 minutes. Mine was 28 pages, 103 sources, and 1 hour long (hehe). The class was a combination of Craig and Parker High School at a separate, private, school for three hours of the day. Students had to drive back and forth between home school and the JAIS school. I was lucky enough to choose the afternoon 5 - 7 period class. I went to school in the morning and JAIS in the afternoon, then home.

At the end of the year, I had gained the respect of Jane Thompson, Principal Dr. Michael Kuehne (w00t, I can spell it for once! ... unlike in middle school), Director of Instruction Michael McKinnon, and School District Superintendant Dr. Everett. This would be enough to convince the school district that I'm not a bad guy and am instead quite useful. So useful, in fact, that I'm not contracted out to the school district to design the JAIS website (http://www.janesvilleacademy.org/) and more.

What's completely ironic about the contract with the school district is that the very man who tried to get me expelled my freshman year was the same man who sat next to my proposal meeting with the school district adminstration and said, "I like this. Maybe we could even move our websites over to your servers for the 2006/2007 school year." Heh, he thought I was a senior when we first spoke that morning. No! I've graduated, and I am damn happy to be out of their clutches.

So here I am, out of high school and not yet in college. Working for money, and attempting to find a way to move out to San Jose. Oh how fun it is now.

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